For any of you that know me, know that my little maisie was born 6 weeks early, 5lbs 9oz. She was born with Jejunal atresia (6 complete blockages in her bowels), her appendix grew in her chest. She needed surgery immediately. 12 hours after my little girl was born she was sent in for major bowel surgery, they removed her appendix and she had a stoma put in. After 2 long months at childrens, my baby girl was finally healthy enough to go home! It was a long road of recovery but we were there!
On our oldests 2nd birthday we were allowed to take maisie out on day pass to the aquarium for kyns birthday… we were back at the hospital for 7pm. Maisie breastfed like a champ this day & had a wonderful day out with us, when we got back to the hospital things took a turn for the worse. They hooked maisie up to her nightly TPN through her PICC line (a line that lead to her heart to feed and give her the nutrients she needed). When they hooked maisie up, she started to scream, it was a constant screaming/crying all night and the nurses told me to stop breastfeeding, everyone thought she had an upset stomach from breastfeeding and that it was too much on her bowels too soon. Our amazing nurse coral, gave maisie some gripe water, tylenol & followed by ovol and nothing was settling her pain. I walked around the hospital wheeling maisies TPN & carrying maisie in the ergo for 3 hours. I called my mom in tears that she wasnt handling her feeds and that i was exhausted. We got back to our room when coral told me to get some sleep and she would take a turn with her, just as i passed maisie over to coral… she was gasping for air and her numbers starting to drop fast. Coral rushed her to some oxygen and the intensive care unit was called. They ran some tests and said maisie just had a slight collasped left lung. They did cultures for signs of infection and sent off for blood work. A few hours had passed and maisie was getting worse, she was turning more pale by the second and finally a doctor from the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) told us she needed to go down downstairs to the picu right now.
I remember those short 5 minutes like they were yesterday, they rushed maisie downstairs with her oxygen and she was barely moving. It felt like the second we got into the PICU things went from shes a little sick to, Maisie is going to die. They tried a cpap machine on maisie and things got so much worse, her numbers were dropping fast and they had to intervene. They started bagging maisie because she stopped breathing… she was yellow/grey as could be and she wasnt moving, wasnt crying. I was a mess, i was crying and screaming when i got kicked out of the PICU. They needed to concentrate on saving maisies life. I fell out of the picu doors literally, i felt like i was going to die myself… they had told me my baby likely wouldnt make it but they would do everything they could to save her. I called my mom and told her that was it, i was almost 100% sure maisie had passed away. I just laid on the hallway floor and cried and screamed. I had no energy to move, my heart had never enudred so much pain and i truly felt i couldnt go on. My mom hung up the phone and called the hospital telling someone to come find me as i was all alone, my husband was at our room looking after our toddler, my mom was in the UK and my mother in law was in a snow storm on her way to us. I got called back into the room to be told maisie was in critical condition but they had her sedated, breathing tube in and essentially on life support, her body wasnt doing any work. They said shes in alot of stress and there is alot of tests that needed to be run and i had to stay away for the day so they could figure out what was killing her.
My husband came to the hospital to walk me back to our room, i left my jacket by mistake in the PICU and it was pouring rain outside. My husband said he would run in to get it but he hadnt seen maisie in this condition yet. I didnt put much thought to it, i was such a mess… he came back walking towards me barely standing, crying his eyes out… this was the second time in almost 5 years i had ever seen my husband cry. We walked back to our room and just laid in bed and cried. I was in too much pain to do anything but.
The next few days went slow, things were the same until about 3 days later when they found maisie had an E.coli infection in her picc line, and that her picc line flicked up into her neck causing a big blood clot in her juglar and her TPN to drain in and around her lungs and thats why she couldnt breathe. This was good news, they could fight the infection head on with the right antibiotics and they put a draining tube in to her chest to drain the fluid. She was put on blood thinners and things were starting to look up.
On day 5 i walked into my baby girl, who’s eyes were wide open and as bright as could be, she looked so chubby as she had gained so much weight from all the fluids, she looked at me and i looked and her and our faces lit up, it was so beyond unexpected and i felt as if i had won the lottery. Going from one day to your child is likely not going to make it, to seeing my little girl moving around and her eyes wide open. My joy in my heart was undescribable. Everyone was in shock and it was truly a miracle.
A day later, she got moved back upstairs and we were back on the road to recovery. My baby girl fought hard and she was going to make it, with 6 months of blood thinners, cycling antibitoics, sodium, iron sups and many many other forms of medication she was going to be ok.
B – xoxox